Let’s face it, most of us have flaws. Even people who look like they have a perfect life from the outside are dealing with battles we know nothing about. The magnitude of those flaws may differ but it is all a matter of perspective when you are dealing with them.
If you have a disillusioned life it could be that some of your bigger flaws are contributing to it. Drinking too much, not exercising, smoking etc. These are all things that eat away at your self-esteem, exacerbating the other smaller things that may not be as important.
“We are flawed creatures, all of us. Some of us think that means we should fix our flaws. But get rid of my flaws and there would be no one left.”
― Sarah Vowell, Take the Cannoli
James Altucher talks about how he tries to be 1% better than yesterday. You can get some cheap gains quickly by looking at how your flaws impact your life and those around you.
My personal experience, with probably my biggest flaw, is the relationship I have with alcohol. I am lucky in some ways as I am a “happy” drunk. In days gone by I would go out with friends and get smashed, that was just the culture I was exposed to. That is what we all did, we didn’t really have any respect for alcohol and the effect it had on us. I could look back at that experience and actually say honestly that it was quite fun at times but it was never fine the next day.
That particular flaw left me tired, hung over and completely demotivated to do anything. It took away my ability to function at my best and consequently I spent a large chunk of a decade or two not really achieving anything. At least nothing of note and that bugged me (makes me disillusioned). The funny thing is that it kind of creeps up on you. One moment in your twenties out partying, having (quite) a few drinks, the next it is twenty years later and you are still doing it. Maybe not with the same frequency but alcohol has crept into other parts of your life too, like a few drinks when you get home etc.
The other clear impact alcohol has on me and I suspect many others, is that it demotivates you to make good decisions about your health and welfare. Even a couple of drinks saps my enthusiasm to put on my running shoes and to do something good for me. You kind of get caught in a vicious cycle. This is not even mentioning the bad food choices I make when out drinking.
I have a different relationship with alcohol now, not perfect but much, much better. I am aware of the impact that alcohol has on other areas of my life and I am consistently checking in to make sure it does not control me. I have even considered giving it away altogether but that would be very difficult, most of my friendships are in some way based around alcohol.
“No matter how much you try to maintain order in your life, no matter how careful you are to guard against mistakes, against imperfections, there is always some smudge, some flaw, lurking out of sight. Waiting to surprise you.”
― Tess Gerritsen,
Some good resources to consider related to your relationship with alcohol are:
There are a ton of resources for other flaws you may wish to address just by googling. I would suspect though that the common culprits would be:
Addressing any of these would lead to a much less disillusioned life and give you some control back. Remember that these things take away your control which touches many areas of your life.
Please leave a comment if you have anything to add or resources you can share.